I want out.

Of everything that binds me. Of everything that introduces undue complexities into my world. And then compounds both the number and the perplexity of these things without warning.

When I try to visualize it in my head, it's as if life's tidal wave is aimed straight for me as I'm standing on the shore, oblivious to the rising current and imminent danger. Without any sign of haste, I wait in a sun chair and take in the ominous view instead of securing refuge at higher ground. I'm still unsure why.

I already know I can manage and overcome multifaceted obstacles, simultaneous conflicts and big personalities. I'm getting better at persuading them to my will. More and more I find that I'm just tired of fighting. What's it all worth, anyway? Money? A misled sense of security? And at what cost? Unrecoverable lost time? Happiness? Never really finding what you're looking for? Settling for mediocrity?

Damn you, ambition, for wanting the wrong things. And damn you universe, for giving them all to me.