You thought I was kidding... but work is no joke.

When it comes to tooting your own horn at the end of each year for performance reviews, I know of two types of people:

1. The Slacker-Deviant-Doubter. These people keep a copy of two mostly-good reviews and simply alternate them every other year. They think that their boss will never read their long list of accomplishments that went unnoticed all year long, including that time they saved the company $5 by bringing their own pens into the office. From their lens, performance reviews are a rubber stamp process not worthy of the extended effort.

2. The Optimist-Kissass-Corporate Climber. This group however, takes reviews very seriously. These ultra anal retentive types invest in management appraisal books, do deep dives of their year in review, maintain monthly records of their every accomplishment and expend insane amounts of time on their reviews.

With this part of my world seeming so black and white, I couldn't possibly rely on my own antics and quips to balance out this year's performance review. And if you're one of the people who have to write your review soon, you might be thinking what I'm thinking which is, "How could my boss possibly refuse to give me a great review? Doesn't my good work stand out on its own?" I know, right? But no, it doesn't. Because we're all so busy, it will be tough to get the perfect wording for your persuasive case sent in on time. But fret not dear readers, after all, we have the internet!

Sadly, you won't find me checking out performance review strategy books from the library to put my accomplishments over the top. This time, I'm going with the automated online performance review, baby. No thought or effort required! It's like picking up those frozen cookies at the grocery store that even comes with an oven tray. Just unwrap and push the button!

And in times like these, why leave it to chance?