(Drunk guy kissing up to his girlfriend)
Guy: Don't I make you feel like a million bucks, baby?
Girl: Awww yes. Yes you really do.
Guy: Okay! Well shut the fuck up already!
(Women walking by a pet store - overheardinnewyork.com)
Girl 1: Oh! Would you look at those precious puppies in the window?
Girl 2: Puppies are bullshit.
Guy: I love to smack my wife's ass. I just like to run by her, smack her ass really hard and say, "Good game!"
(On the way to happy hour)
Girl 1: Can I borrow your lipstick real quick?
Girl 2: Sure. That color looks super hot on you.
Girl 1: Alrighty, then! I'm all good and "Hussie-fied."
Nerd 1: So have you been playing that new computer game?
Nerd 2: Yeah, it's pretty involved.
Nerd 1: No kidding. I just got a girlfriend and we went on a drive by shooting for a date.
Next Time: Prepping for Las Vegas, dressing for Paul Oakenfold, performing at the Black and White Party, and my new cell phone which kicks the piss out of yours!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
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