Can a girl survive on lipstick alone?

Today I'm finding out the hard way, to be sure. Right. So I'm driving to work (somewhat hurried as usual) and I'm ready to engage in my routine makeup application on the highway. I steady the wheel and start to dig into my handbag, then suddenly freeze. There's a painful twinge in my stomach. I think I'm going to be sick.
 
I maniacally search the contents of my denim handbag but there's no makeup. I turn it upside down and empty it out completely. Still, no makeup. I turn off the radio, put down my coffee and hang up my cell phone so I can deal with this beauty emergency. I swerve into the left lane while running my hand under the seats but it returns empty handed. I'm panicking. I'll look average. Nobody is going to recognize me. Holy cow, I'm calling in sick.
 
Then again, I shrill out loud, "To hell with it!" I'm already halfway to work, I can't call in sick now. I've got to wing it, MacGyver style. I look down at the remnants of my purse scattered all over the passenger seat. Let's see here... post its, cds', ipaq, altoids, work badge. Nada. As I continue rummaging, I manage to locate some clear MAC lipglass, a tampon and a sheer toffee lipstick from Loreal. Today is going to suck.
 
Though I've only got two lip products that contain almost no color, screw it. I slick the loreal on my lips, on my cheeks and ran it lightly over my eyelids and blended it with my fingers. I even covered a blemish on my forehead with it. Then I layered the lipglass over my lips and dabbed it on my arms to moisturize my elbows. I popped a mint, put on my sunglasses and prepared to grind it out for yet another 8.5 hours. Mission accomplished in 10 minutes. Damn, I'm fabulous.